Thursday, April 30, 2009

Ceci n'est pas une pipe?

English Abstract: I don't like smoking... but this is plain idiotarded!

No fumo.

Desde los 9 años a los 11 hice varios intentos para que el tabaco me gustara (ya sabéis "para ser mayor"... cosas de criaturas). Imposible. No hubo manera. Me sabía a cuerno quemado.

Tal vez si el tabaco generalmente disponible al público tuviera la calidad de un buen habano me hubiera podido viciar, pero con los matarratas con filtro usuales es que me ha sido imposible. Im-po-si-ble.

De hecho, procuro evitar ir a la cafetería de al lado de mi casa en horas que coincidan con el recreo del instituto cercano, en el cual los estudiantes toman al asalto el lugar y lo transforman en algo parecido a un fumadero de opio. ¿ley antitabaco? JA JA JA Ley-Antitabaco-Los-Cojones, porque todo el mundo se la pasa por el forro de los ídem. Si tengo la mala pata de coincidir con la panda de aspirantes a tunos, salgo de la cafetería con la ropa atufando como si hubiera pasado una semana metida dentro de una chimenea industrial.

En ese momento, me gustaría ver aparecer a uno de esos bocazas que hablan de la "implacable persecución" de los "pobres fumadores", y les curaría de su mono de humo amorrándolos a un tubo de escape, y tal vez, ya de paso, conectándolos otro tubo de escape por otro orificio corporal .

Supongo que a estas alturas del post ha quedado claro que no me gusta fumar, ni que me obliguen a fumar pasivamente.

Pues bien, habiendo dejado eso aclarado, declaro públicamente que cosas como la que viene a continuación esta me parecen absolutamente imbéciles:

Por lo visto, los irresponsables de esta manipulación creen que porque la gente vea una imagen de Jacques Tati fumando se va a viciar al tabaco como descosida. Ni que fuéramos burros, vamos, por el Roma de Diso!

Más valdría que los sabios legisladores de la vieja Europa dejaran a la gente fumar tranquilamente en las películas y en los tebeos, y trabajar para que los pobres no-fumadores dispongamos de algún refugio, en el mundo real, en el que podamos tomarnos un cafelito sin salir del local oliendo a chotuno ahumado.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Elektra Dark Reign #2: Elektra Assasin Vs. "Terminator" Nelson

Comments on Dark Reign: Elektra #2
A Marvel Comic.
by Zeb Wells (Script), Clay Mann (pencils), Mark Dennington (inks) and Matt Hollingsworth (Colors)
Spoiler level: Some spoilers ahead, but not huge ones

It's late at night and you're still at the office, working hard. That's one of the advantages of having a partner who spends most of his time in spandex: you have to catch up with most of the firm's routinely stuff.

Suddenly, you hear a crashing noise "hum... this time Matt didn't even bother to open the window... maybe it's time for a little radar revision?"

Surprise, surprise...

One of the funniest things about working with Matt Murdock is that, well, you can always count on one of his gorgeous ex to drop by the office late at night.

"Well, I've been abducted for an undetermined span of time by shapeshifting aliens, then kept safely locked in a cell by Norman Osborn and his hammer-ites... and I just said to myself 'what's a girl gotta do in a boring evening like that?' so I busted my cell, annihilated all the guards crossing my path, and got out of the helitransport and 'Hey! Let's see what the Fogster's doing right now!"

Foggy's brain is a perfect storm of questions "Did someone sent her to kill me again?" "Maybe she wants to protect me as she did when I was in Witness Custody..." "But was she then the real deal... or a Skrull?" "Should I tell her that Matt was, hum, patrolling tonight with Natasha?" Huh-oh... He doesn't like the way she stares at him Oh, man... this is like... THE END!! Anyway, I'll withstand: "Guts" Nelson won't give up his life without fierce resistance"

Nevermind, this is only the outcome of Round One... Or is it? Will Foggy be able to knock out Elektra? Or shall Miss Natchios be able to force Nelson's surrender?

Natchios Vs. Nelson... Possibly the most spectacular showdown of the past week chez Marvel (even over the Incredible Hercules beating the hell out of the Sentry)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Daredevil #118: The Book of Fog

Comments on Daredevil #118, Vol. 2
A Marvel Comic.
by Ed Brubaker (Script), Michael Lark, John Lucas & Stefano Gaudiano (Art) and Matt Hollingsworth (Colors)
Spoiler level: Some spoilers ahead

There was a man in the land of Nieuw Amsterdam, whose name was Fog; and that man was upright (as much as, hum, a lawyer could), and one that feared the Law (Yea, yea... as much a lawyer could!), and eschewed evil. His grin was wide, and so was his girth.

And that man of substance befriended a Daring Devil, who used to go to and fro in the Hell's Kitchen, and to swing up and down in it. And Fog thought "Life hast blessed me with a great friendship".

Yet the Devil's daring feats gained him bitter and mighty enemies. And the wicked sought to harm the Scarlett Horned Head and those of his kin, and would not be weary nor at rest at such task. And Fog would know that the man who is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. And while the Devil was fighting his foes, Fog's nights were solitary, and no joyful voice came therein.

And Fog despaired "Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?", but didn't let the Devil know as not to give him worry. But his days were full of tossings to and fro unto the coming of the night. His sighing cometh before he ate, and his roarings were poured out like the waters.

And then Fog learnt that the Daring Devil had dalliance with the bulkiest of his foes, in order to battle their common enemy.

And Fog said unto the Horn-Headed Fiend "The thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. You hath dealt with the King of Pins, who constantly conceiveth mischief, and bringest forth vanity, and whose big belly prepareth deceit! Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean one?"

And the Daring Devil said unto Fog "This is an affair of mine and thou hast no part in it"

And Fog's patience gave way to great wrath.

You will excuse me for not discussing Kingpin's intriguing chess-like motions, the Hand's ninja hijinks or Master Izo's taste in beers, all of them items of great importance... But this issue has one remarkable, unusual feature, for we see the patient, understanding and dependable Foggy explode with rage against his old Pal Matt Murdock.

I must say that I perfectly understand Matt's reactions, when one is bullied by circumstances as he has of late, one may get mad and take questionable decisions. But the trouble is that, the way he has been reacting, he's been pissing the hell out of his friends and allies: we have seen him reacting after reproved by Luke Cage, Becky Blake or Dakota North, but Foggy was always balancing the act gently, trying to give advice, but apparently resigned to Matt's deafness to it. Only apparently, because the latest events have really strained his old frienship with Matt.

"Matt doesn't come to work? All right, he must be tired after hanging around all night keeping Hell's Kitchen safe. Or he's depressed about what happened to poor Milla. Or he's trying to help an innocent man who has been unfairly sentenced to death, still..."

"Not wanting Milla's parents to take her in custody? But Matt, this may be the best for everyone involved... be more flexible"

"Cheating on Milla? WTF!! Hum, er... look Matt, I know that things have been rough to you of late, and Dakota is truly a hottie but..."

"WHA...??!?! Working along with the Kingpin to crush the Hand?!

Of course, Matt and Foggy have had their rifts in the past. but always ended reconciling. We could go back to when Foggy was sorely annoyed by Matt, even though he didn't know it was Matt, thinking he was mad against sassy Daltonic dresser (and Matt's "long lost twin") Mike Murdock. Foggy would in turn annoy Matt by defending Micah Synn (under wifely pressure) or Kelco, a company owned by Wilson Fisk (out of economic pressure)... Though Foggy would realize he had been wrong and quit at the right moment. As a curious note, Micah Synn's menace lead tthen o the unthinkable association of Kingpin and Daredevil, but we'll come to it later...

Another major rift happened when Foggy learned that Matt had faked his death, and FINALLY learned his friend was Daredevil: "Damn, in all this years he never, ever TOLD ME!!". He was inevitably miffed, but melted after Murdock rationalized his motives. And, after a few icy issues, they reconciled.

This event, however, set a new pattern, for Foggy was now, not merely a friend, but also a trusted confidant of the hero. And from then on Foggy would get in trouble because he knew who Daredevil was, but could not speak about it (except with a handful of people like Karen Page or Natasha Romanoff), and specially in volume 2, Foggy had to deal with the consequences of having a partner with a double life, and get used to it.

In the Bendis run, we had what was, possibly, the greatest challenge to Mr. Nelson, this being Matt being outed by the press as Daredevil, and the Daredevil hunt that followed. As now, Matt reacted then with a hot head, and Foggy got angry and gave him his memorable "circle of pain" speech. Foggy's situation was almost as strained as Matt's. Yet he would still remain loyal, even if he found it an extremely hard thing to do at times.

After Foggy was apparently murdered, but actually hidden in Witness Protection program, he and Matt had time to reconsider their relationship, and when they met again they were more than willing to make amends and start anew... Hard as living with Matt was, life without Matt was still worse. Things seemed to be looking up again, with Becky joining the firm and Matt and Milla happily reunited

But of course, Daredevil's enemies knew better...

And Foggy has been among the collateral damage caused by the likes of Gladiator, Mr. Fear, Lily Lucca and Lady Bullseye: he's attempted bravely to be the supportive pal we have known for ages, but he's found it increasingly difficult to empathise with Matt: being unreasonable to Milla's parents, frightening witnesses...And Matt's last wild idea of making a coalition with Wilson Fisk has been the last straw...

Franklin Nelson just won't take it anymore, he's really crossed at Matt... Possibly in one of the worst moments in the life of the Crimson Avenger, but one has to admit, poor Matt just had it coming: he's been counting on Foggy's unquestionable assistance for too long, and Foggy considers that backing Matt's unholy new partnership is beyond the call of duty.

Will everything be eventually solved? Will Franklin eventually reconcile with Matt?

Hum... for the time being, it seems he won't.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Just see vat de boys in de backroom vill haff!

There's an ongoing MarleneFest chez Campaspe , heck, even I have joined the party at Charley me darling's place. Among the comments there was a link where our favourite StupendousFrau entertains the audience. At Campaspe's suggestion, I think that it would be good, to cheer our spirits in these somewhat bleak days, to sing along with Miss Dietrich.

Se ha montado chez Campaspe un MarleneFiestuqui , que puñeta, hasta yo me he apuntado a la juerga en Can Carlitus. Entre los comentarios había un enlace en el cual nuestra Frauleinstupenda favorita engresca al respetable. A sugerencia de Campaspe, creo que no estaría mal, para alegrarnos un poco en estos dias de zozobra, de hacerle un coro entusiasta a Miss Dietrich.

See what the boys in the backroom will have,
And tell them I'm having the same.
Go see what the boys in the backroom will have,
And give them the poison they name.

And when I die, don't spend my money
On flowers and my picture in a frame.
Just see what the boys in the backroom will have,
And tell them I sighed,
And tell them I cried,
And tell them I died of the same.

And when I die, don't buy a casket
Of silver with the candles all aflame
Just see what the boys in the backroom will have,
And tell them I sighed,
And tell them I cried,
And tell them I died of the same.

And when I die, don't pay the preacher
For speaking of my glory and my fame
Just see what the boys in the backroom will have,
And tell them I sighed,
And tell them I cried,
And tell them I died of the same.
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